I lub my mom…

You have to admit that Allah has created mother in a league of her own. Her undue love for her children is unparallel. I feel like drooling over her care and kindness.

It’s been burning hot in Lahore for the last couple of days or so. And ammi has been in contact with me like all the time, how are you? are you dehydrating? why dont you go over to some friend’s place? remain in some cool place etc? And when the temperature reached staggering 50 degree celsius, she was like ‘I think Muneeb you should simply get a break from job and come back home’.
It’s just incredible.

I for once am totally unable to comprehend that how can one put oneself so beneath the means and think as you think for your ownself. Maybe I am a tad too selfish but nothing beats the ‘mamta’. Her level of concern is on a different scale. And all this love is totally unconditional. All she wants is for her children to remain happy. No matter how much hardships, struggle, difficult times she has to go through. And these ain’t no flimsy filmy romantic love drama, it IS pure love.

Sometimes I feel pretty guilty. I am not returning her what she truly deserves from me. I feel so like a brat. Maybe it’s because of the distance but that’s more like an excuse than some substance as I see my siblings performing a great job in making her feel good everyday, even when they live miles away & have more responsibilities than I have. When I go off for tableegh, many times I have encountered people asking me when did the last time I gave a massage to my parents etc? I am stranded there, all embarassed. It’s just I think I am pretty lazy & take my parents for granted. I should be making a statement right now that I will be giving more time to my parents from now on than other crap hobbies I pursue.

But I do try to make my friends realize this. So many times when we had this love/arrange marriage discussion (As more than half of my friends are in some kinda pre/present/post relationship status..hehe) and I always tell them it’s not just about you all the time. Our families expect something from us. It’s true that its our life and we have to live with a certain woman after marriage but you cannot just ignore your parents’ wishes like that. I personally beleive in giving mom/dad a chance. Since the day I was born they had some dreams for me. And they know they can’t impose it on me that but it’s not the matter of should and should’nt. How can one ignore parents, who have done so much for you, over a freak sissy lass you met only weeks back? It’s just cruel and incomprehensible in my opinion.

People talk about true love. When they meet someone and get into this topsy turvy so-called love relation they think they just found the eternal love. And it gets even more ridiculous when they go all bullfight against their parents thinking themselves as some romeo-cum-superman when for crying out loud, they are not even able to comprehend the love which their mother has been giving them since the time when they didn’t know crap about the world. I don’t want to get melodramatic here but I am unable to understand how can someone talk about love when they think running away from your family with your freak lass is some sorta true win of their pathetic concept of love/care/kindness.

Confusing lust with love, idiocy at its best.

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3 Responses to “I lub my mom…”

  1. Huriya M. Says:

    I totally agree with you about the mere foolishness of kids abondoning thier parents for the “love” of thier life. I believe such “loves” are feelings just like any other feeling such as anger, frustration, happiness. the common element in all of them is that they tend to go away after sometime. One emotion is replaced by another very quickly. Also there no argument to the fact that there is no such thing as perfect match, every human being has some manufacturing fault in thier brains. So even marriage to your soul mate ends up being a compromised life. There are more important factors to a happy married life such as honesty, friendship and trust.
    Having said that, bieng a parent myself, one thing to note is that parents are human beings too, that means we are not perfect as well. We do have a better understanding of the world from expereince but that doesnt mean that we always make the right decisions. We have our preceptions about how our children should do and end up as. Sometime these preceptions are drawn from prejudice, culture, and values, that means less to our chilren then they do to us.
    This is why when an arranged marriage doesnt go well in our society “qismat” is blamed and when love marriage doesnt go well “children’s disobedience” is blamed.

  2. Huriya M. Says:

    One more thing….
    you are right there is no way to describe or even understand a mother’s love for her child. I have thought about why a mother loves her child the way she does, is it instinctive? is it in our DNA? or is it instilled in us by the culture?
    They say Allah love us 100 (or maybe 1000) times more then a mother loves her child, if that is the case, I can’t understand how human beings are put through such misery in this world. And I am not talking about the self imposed misery like “not getting married to soul mate because of parents”. I am talking about misery innocent people go through in wars, poverty, famine, etc.
    It is impossible for a normal human mother to think of exposing her child to such despair on will (even as a punishment).
    Please explain.

  3. Muneeb Says:

    Because the ‘apparent’ wordly conditions are not the parameter for success or failure. I have mentioned this thing before in my articles, that true need of a human being is simply the satisfaction which a person has in his/her heart.

    Now the conflict arises when the person uses his naive knowledge, experience, effort and what not, to judge that all the true satisfaction lies in the wordly conditions. While Allah simply changed the paradigm for us. He opened up two paths for everyone. And He made sure, that whoever chooses the correct path will get the very satisfaction in the heart regardless if he is living under a shadow of bombs or palace of diamonds.

    And it makes sense. Allah totally detached us from the exteriors. So that even a person living in Africa, going through the famine chooses the path of Allah, Allah will change his life from the inside. So through an outsider view we might think that by following the deen, guy lost all his money,fame etc but inside his very heart, Allah will fill it up with true love and gratitude which was never to be found in endless quandums of worldly things. Thats what all it counts (And don’t confuse the satisfaction which Allah talks about, to mere state of mind. State of mind is fickle to the outer world,while the satisfaction of heart is permanent and is based upon the deeds)

    What would you prefer? A life with all the worldly gains but no sukoon inside your heart (there were kings during the mughal era, which used to change their rooms 4-5 times a night only because of the fear of being murdered) or a life with empty hands, stranded in a jungle but the sukoon inside (Sahaba showed it to such a massive extent that even when in their later years they got the land, governments, ornaments ..it hardly changed their lifestyle …..coz all what people try to find in those materials, they had already found it in deen)

    so where the love comes from? the love comes from attaching no strings to our conditions. So that no guy, should complain tommorrow on the day of judgement, that Allah I was born in a war terrorised state or famine affected country. Allah has given into your own hands. If you follow what He says individually, Allah will change your life at an individual level. And if we all follow it as a Ummah, Allah will change the fate of whole Ummah at a collective level.

    and not only this, Allah setup the day of judgement. That even if we take into account those minor difficulties which one faced in following the path of Allah, so one will be compensated to such an hi-fi extent when no wordly crap can suffice.

    yes, the ball is in MY court, is in YOUR court. Allah is all ready to bestow.

    and this is just one perspective. then there is a concept of ‘Tauba’ (how ready He is to forgive all our sins, in a blink of an eye), the concept of giving Hidayat to a Non-Muslim at the moment of death (if the Non-Muslim did good deeds for others all his/her life), the concept of forgiveness on the day of judgement ..and so many others.
    we’ll discuss this sometime later. its my fav topic 😀

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